Insults are something we’ve all experienced at one point or another, and usually they’re not very pleasant. But in the movies, it’s a completely different story, and as a writer, I find a well-written insult extremely useful. As useful as threats, I’d say.
Here are some of my favorites, from a couple different Youtube videos. What are your favorites?
My favorites from the 1st video:
- “I don’t like your jerk-off name, i don’t like your jerk-off face and i don’t like you. Jerk-off.” — The Big Lebowski
- “You know, in the short time we’ve been together, you have demonstrated EVERY loathsome characteristic of the male personality and even discovered a few new ones. You are physically repulsive, intellectually retarded, you’re morally reprehensible, vulgar, insensitive, selfish, stupid, you have no taste, a lousy sense of humor and you smell. You’re not even interesting enough to make me sick.” — Witches of Eastwick
- “You despise me, don’t you?”
“Well, if I gave you any thought, I probably would.” — Casablanca - “What you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.” — Billy Madison
- “You climb obstacles like old people fuck, you know that, Private Pyle?” — Full Metal Jacket
- This one doubles as my favorite insult of all time, ever: “Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I’d like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where’s the Tylenol?” — Christmas Vacation
- “Why don’t you go back to your home on Whore Island?” — Anchorman
Part 2:
- “Where you always this stupid, or did you take lessons?” — Long Kiss Goodnight
- “Hey, Vasquez, have you ever been mistaken for a man?”
“No. Have you?” — Aliens - “Look, I think we got off on the wrong foot here.”
“That’s all you got, lady. Two wrong feet in fucking ugly shoes.” — Erin Brokovich - “Selveridge, you’d need three promotions to get to be an asshole.” — Biloxi Blues
- “You know what I’m going to get you next Christmas, Mom? A big wooden cross, so that every time you feel unappreciated for your sacrifices, you can climb on up and nail yourself to it.” — The Ref
- “You’re gonna pay full price rummy. I don’t believe in no serviceman’s discounts.”
“Too bad, your old lady does.” — Heartbreak Ridge
